Era - Art Deco
Materials - Platinum, Old European Cut Diamond (1.32ct N/VVS), Emerald (1.28ct Muzo) & Accent Diamonds (.50ct)
Size - 7
Measurements - 24 x 16mm
April 20, 2020
I have been experiencing so much duality lately. On one hand, I’m grateful for the quiet, the slowness the time to be with my daughter. Snuggled up on pause. The other hand I feel my spirit chomping at the bit, foaming at the mouth and pounding against the inside of my ribcage to be let out.
I love my home, my safe haven full of things I treasure; I relish the nesting and rearranging. Watching my plants grow and making fires when the nights are cold. Other moments I feel the walls closing me in, trapping me and crumbling down around me sealing me from the world outside.
Some days I feel as though I wake up full of sunshine. Peaceful warmth flowing from my fingers to my toes as I arch and stretch like a contented cat. Other mornings I feel like a trapped thing, ready to pounce and lash out eyes wild and teeth bared.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been battling between these two. I find myself struggling not to let the darker of the two win, not to let it rear its ugly head or have the reins. I’ve been trying to muzzle the lower self and only concentrate on the higher, lifting her up with every fiber of my exhausted being to place her somewhere safe.
But I think I’ve been going about it all wrong. I think these two need to exist together to be whole. Maybe instead of denying the lower, stifling it and burying it and pretending that it doesn’t exist isn’t the way to go. I was told that in this way, we only succeed in wearing a mask. Perhaps the goal is to acknowledge these both, yes the lower as well, to embrace and ascend.
When I refurbished this ring, I felt as though it needed something special. Instead of another matching diamond I went on a hunt for months to find an emerald that spoke to me. Looking back now, it’s as though I would need the reminder to let my yin and yang, my light and dark, my feminine and masculine, my higher and lower exist perfectly in balance.